You have reached Festival, king of entertainers and entertainer of kings. I'm fairly certain this device will allow you to leave a message. Best of luck with that.
[For the first few seconds, Festival actually tries to think whether he’s done anything to bring this on. He doesn’t think he’s been ruining Tim’s life lately, but—
But that’s a bizarre and, frankly, offensive accusation entirely out of the blue.]
For one thing, if I were going to take action against you I wouldn’t do anything so crass and basic as to attack someone.
[...Unlike Chris, as it turns out, but Festival really doesn’t want to go into that with Tim.]
The woman you attacked while wearing my face!! [The words are spat out as Tim struggles deciding if he's more or less upset to learn Festival might have picked someone at random.]
Is it because we're on the network that you're refusing to admit it? Because I haven't seen my friend in weeks and suddenly she's saying that I've attacked her. There's only one person I know that can copy my looks and voice and that's you. So drop the act already.
Is it because we’re on the network that you’re making dangerous accusations? Hoping that if you’re vehement enough our minders will decide to punish me for something I did not do.
[Tim doesn’t seem like the kind to play a trick, though. Maybe someone has actually been attacked, as he says.]
[Festival’s voice goes very calm and very, very cold.]
I’ll say it here and I’ll say it wherever you like, you brainless donkey, you obtuse mule, I did not attack her. If you’re not lying, if she were actually attacked by an illusionist, I would like to help, but do not insult me again with these accusations.
[Of course you won't admit to it! He very nearly shouts it into the phone, but bites his tongue. This wasn't about him right now. It was about Inara and if there was a chance there was someone else doing this? He needed more information.]
I'm not saying I believe or trust you, but... how could you help her or anyone else from getting attacked by an imposter me?
If you believe she’ll be attacked again, I’m quite capable of setting a trap with myself as bait. I don’t know what other enemies you’ve made who would do such a thing, but beating someone else in order to punish you is entirely unacceptable and I would...let them know so.
That is, assuming you’ve told me the truth, and all of it.
I don't know if she'll be attacked again. I wasn't the one who attacked her in the first place. [He tries not to make that sound overly accusatory... but it's sound very accusatory.]
And by setting yourself as bait you mean you'd steal her face and pretend to be her?
Yeah? And how often did you have permission before running around stealing someone else's life?
Don't do that unless you have permission from her and you explain exactly what it means when people think you are her. That everything you do she'll take the blame for.
I don't accuse you of everything that goes wrong. I only blame you for the things I get blamed for that I know for a fact wasn't me. You're the only one I know of that can copy my face and have also threatened to ruin my life.
[Should he ask Jon for help? To make sure Festival isn't lying? No, Tim is still pretty sure Jon will take Festival's side. Even if Jon first saw Festival stab Tim in the back. Not Jon, but maybe there is someone else he can think of to ask for help.]
I am not a cruel man. I know now how deeply that would hurt you. Rest assured that if I should decide you require some form of retribution, I will do something much more subtle than put on your face and give someone a beating.
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But that’s a bizarre and, frankly, offensive accusation entirely out of the blue.]
For one thing, if I were going to take action against you I wouldn’t do anything so crass and basic as to attack someone.
[...Unlike Chris, as it turns out, but Festival really doesn’t want to go into that with Tim.]
For another...who is Inara?
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...One thing I’ve not done and another thing I’ve not done a second time.
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[Tim doesn’t seem like the kind to play a trick, though. Maybe someone has actually been attacked, as he says.]
...is she badly hurt? What did she say happened?
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Of course she's hurt! You beat the crap out of her! Any why?! She was defending Charlotte you stupid beast!
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I’ll say it here and I’ll say it wherever you like, you brainless donkey, you obtuse mule, I did not attack her. If you’re not lying, if she were actually attacked by an illusionist, I would like to help, but do not insult me again with these accusations.
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I'm not saying I believe or trust you, but... how could you help her or anyone else from getting attacked by an imposter me?
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If you believe she’ll be attacked again, I’m quite capable of setting a trap with myself as bait. I don’t know what other enemies you’ve made who would do such a thing, but beating someone else in order to punish you is entirely unacceptable and I would...let them know so.
That is, assuming you’ve told me the truth, and all of it.
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And by setting yourself as bait you mean you'd steal her face and pretend to be her?
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I’ve never stolen a face in my life.
I would duplicate her face in order to lure her attacker to myself.
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Don't do that unless you have permission from her and you explain exactly what it means when people think you are her. That everything you do she'll take the blame for.
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If you’ve any other ideas—beyond accusing me of everything that goes wrong in your life—I’d certainly like to hear it.
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[Should he ask Jon for help? To make sure Festival isn't lying? No, Tim is still pretty sure Jon will take Festival's side. Even if Jon first saw Festival stab Tim in the back. Not Jon, but maybe there is someone else he can think of to ask for help.]
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I sincerely doubt I’m the only powerful enemy you’ve made in this place, Tim.
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